Balancing Dualities of 'The Monk and The Lover'
In Conversation with Elijah A. Bland No. 05
In our enriching discussion about "The Monk and The Lover," Elijah A. Bland laid bare the origins and inspirations behind this introspective poem. It reflects the internal battle of duality, of being torn between familial commitments and the call of artistic solitude. Derived from his personal experiences, it tells of the challenges he faced in reconciling societal expectations with his own aspirations and desires.
Elijah delves deep into the human psyche, articulating the struggle of being both The Monk and The Lover, echoing sentiments many artists face in the journey of self-discovery and creation. He poignantly conveys the weight of responsibilities and the desire for personal freedom, all the while highlighting the universality of these feelings.
In the age of digital connections, Elijah underscores the importance of genuine human interactions and emphasizes the need for introspection and growth. He envisions his poem as a call to embrace one's full potential, to love unconditionally, and to constantly strive for a deeper understanding of oneself and the world.
Elijah's profound reflections on life, love, and artistry make "The Monk and The Lover" a testament to the ongoing journey of understanding and embracing one's true self. As readers eagerly anticipate what comes next from this poet, one thing is clear: Elijah A. Bland is on a perpetual journey of exploration, not just of the external world, but of the myriad depths within.
Alison: Elijah, I truly appreciate you sharing "The Monk and The Lover" with me. It's a deeply introspective piece that delves into the intricacies of human relationships and our inner conflicts.
The title, "The Monk and The Lover," paints a vivid picture of two contrasting worlds. Can you share the inspiration behind this title and its connection to the poem's central theme?
Elijah: Hi Alison, it's a pleasure to discuss this with you. The title came to me towards the end of my writing process. Initially, I was working on separate poems for each page. However, after I came upon the phrase "The Monk and The Lover," everything clicked. These two figures represent an internal struggle I've grappled with for years: choosing between a life filled with love and family (the lover) or one dedicated to solitary creativity (the monk). There were moments when I felt I had to pick one over the other.
Alison: It's fascinating how our personal experiences and internal dialogues shape our creative expressions. Starting the poem with "It wouldn’t work. Real marriage." is a powerful way to capture the reader's attention. It speaks to the deep-seated beliefs and reservations many artists harbor about balancing personal commitments with their craft.
Elijah: Absolutely. For a long time, I couldn't envision marriage fitting into the artistic life I had imagined for myself. I could see companionship, but the traditional concept of marriage seemed distant. Even the joy of fatherhood felt elusive. Yet, life took its course, and I found myself in a committed relationship, raising a daughter and a stepson in a blended family, much like the one I was raised in.
This poem became a medium for me to navigate the dialogue between my dual identities. It's quite telling that it took me three years to finalize it from its original draft. Perhaps, deep down, I was grappling with the poem's message and what it meant for my life.
"These two figures represent an internal struggle I've grappled with for years: choosing between a life filled with love and family (the lover) or one dedicated to solitary creativity (the monk).
Alison: Your reflections on duality resonate deeply, Elijah. It's a theme many of us grapple with, even if not always consciously. The juxtaposition of 'freedom' with 'oppression' and 'solitude' with 'escape' is particularly poignant.
Do you think these conflicting desires are intrinsic to human nature, or are they more a reflection of societal pressures? And how do these contrasts shape your understanding and definition of true personal freedom within the poem?
Elijah: Wow, you've touched on a core theme. This duality, these opposing forces, they're emblematic of the human experience, aren't they? We often find ourselves torn between what we desire and what we feel obligated to. For me, 'freedom' represents the unbridled pursuit of my art, the ability to immerse myself without constraints. On the other hand, 'oppression' is the weight of societal expectations, the roles we're expected to play, especially in relationships and families.
'Solitude' is where I find clarity, a space to breathe and create. Yet, 'escape' signifies the moments I yearn for a break from that very solitude, a craving for connection and shared experiences.
In the poem, these dualities serve as a reflection of my internal tug-of-war. Personal freedom, in this context, isn't just about the liberty to do as one pleases, but also the freedom to choose which battles to fight, which desires to pursue, and which to let go. It's about reconciling with the fact that sometimes, what we want and what we need might be at odds, and that's okay.
Alison: Elijah, your ability to transform feelings of confinement and the weight of responsibilities into such a raw and vulnerable piece is truly commendable. Art has a way of resonating with those who find themselves in similar emotional landscapes, and your openness in sharing these sentiments adds a universal touch to your work.
The lines “By a lover or a neighbor or a man with eyes; powerful oppressive, longing" are particularly striking. Could you shed some light on the meaning behind these words? How do they encapsulate the external pressures or judgments that may have shaped your personal journey?
Elijah: As I mentioned when discussing "The Panther", my early to mid-twenties were marked by exploration and an unconventional relationship that didn't align with societal norms or expectations. While I've never concealed this chapter of my life, I haven't been overtly vocal about it either. Now, as a father to a young girl, I recognize that this will inevitably be a topic of conversation in the future.
However, when penning those lines, I realized I no longer wanted to shy away from my narrative, and neither should my readers. It's essential for us to strike a balance in our lives, rooted in self-acceptance of both our attractions and aversions. Love often emerges from the most unexpected corners, and we shouldn't hold back from embracing it due to external pressures or preconceived notions of personal freedom.
Personal freedom, in this context, isn't just about the liberty to do as one pleases, but also the freedom to choose which battles to fight, which desires to pursue, and which to let go.
Alison: Your words resonate deeply, Elijah. Embracing one's unique journey, especially when it diverges from societal norms, is both brave and essential. Your emphasis on self-acceptance and the freedom to define one's path is truly inspiring.
The poem's concluding lines, “The Monk and The Lover, deep within, powerful and conflicting, never able to merge,” encapsulate its essence. Do you interpret this as a mournful reflection or a recognition of an immutable reality? Furthermore, do you feel that individuals are perpetually torn between these two identities, or is there potential for a harmonious coexistence?
Elijah: It's interesting because I often feel that if the poem had simply followed "It wouldn't work" with the concluding lines, it would still encapsulate the essence, but then again, it's about embracing the entirety of one's narrative. To me, those lines are a nod to an immutable truth. As I hope readers discern, I embody both The Monk and The Lover. There's no dichotomy to wrestle with. I wear many hats - a Poet, a Father, Photographer, Singer-Songwriter; an Explorer, a Nomad.
I embrace both my Masculine and Feminine sides, the strength and gentleness; the audacity and the restraint. It's the balance of Yin and Yang. Growing up, I was introduced to the concept of the Holy Trinity - three distinct yet unified entities. If we are indeed crafted in Their likeness, then it's clear that "it wouldn't work" for these identities to merge. They coexist, each powerful in its own right. Merging them might, in fact, dilute their essence.
I embody both The Monk and The Lover. There's no dichotomy to wrestle with.
Alison: Your insight is deeply profound, Elijah. The notion that we can embrace and honor the multifaceted nature of our being, without diminishing any aspect, is truly freeing. Your perspective aligns with many philosophical and spiritual teachings about the dance between duality and unity.
Building on this theme of self-acceptance, how has your recognition and embrace of these dual identities, The Monk and The Lover, shaped your interactions and relationships, especially with your family and those closest to you?
Elijah: Well, it's an ongoing journey, to be honest. There are bridges to be rebuilt and fences to mend when it comes to family and close relationships. While things are currently calm on "The Lover" side, I'm truly relishing this time of unbridled creativity and peaceful solitude. You could say The Monk in me is flourishing right now.
Alison: It's evident that you're on a path of deep self-discovery, Elijah. Each stage, be it one of solitude or connection, offers its unique insights and moments of growth.
Your poem is rich with introspection, a deep dive into the self. How has this internal exploration influenced the outward aspects of your life? Specifically, how have the internal dynamics between the Monk and the Lover played out in your everyday decisions and interactions?
Elijah: It's been a mirror, really, reflecting back the shadows and imperfections I've carried over the years. But it's also been a reminder of my humanity, that as long as I'm breathing, there's room for growth and transformation. Every new day presents an opportunity to be a better father, a more dedicated professional, a more attentive son, brother, and friend, and overall, a kinder human being.
I owe it to myself and the world around me to strive for that. So, I've incorporated meditation and daily writing into my routine, using them as tools to reflect on the day's experiences and envision the path ahead. My goal is to bring value, light, and joy into the lives of others in whatever way I can.
Growing up, I was introduced to the concept of the Holy Trinity - three distinct yet unified entities. If we are indeed crafted in Their likeness, then it's clear that 'it wouldn't work' for these identities to merge.
Alison: Elijah, your dedication to self-awareness and growth is truly inspiring. It's often said that true growth emerges from confronting our own shadows, and your commitment to bettering yourself, both for your own sake and for those around you, is commendable.
Given the poem's exploration of solitude, introspection, and the intricacies of relationships, I'm curious: in today's digital era, where social media and online interactions have reshaped the way we connect, do you believe "The Monk and The Lover" speaks to a larger societal tension between authentic connection and the more superficial interactions that have become commonplace?
Elijah: Absolutely! I've always believed in the power of fostering genuine connections, even in our digital-centric world. While technology offers numerous avenues to initiate meaningful relationships, the challenge often lies in transitioning from the virtual to the tangible.
There's a noticeable difficulty in detaching from the digital realm once real-world connections are made. While I don't profess to have all the solutions, my hope is that through platforms like this newsletter, I can engage with others who share similar sentiments and aspirations.
Alison: You've hit the nail on the head, Elijah. In this digital age, finding the equilibrium between genuine human connections and the ever-present allure of the virtual world is a challenge many grapple with. Your initiative to use platforms like your newsletter to bridge this gap is truly noteworthy.
Considering the introspective depth of “The Monk and The Lover,” what do you hope readers glean from it? Beyond its personal narrative, what universal message or spark of inspiration do you wish to convey?
Elijah: Embrace the depth and complexity within you! There's so much more to each of us than what meets the eye or what we've even acknowledged. Life is a journey of self-discovery, and there's no time limit to understanding our intricacies. Love yourself unapologetically, and extend that love to others, no matter where or who they are.
Remember, they're on their own journey of self-exploration too. And most importantly, never shy away from realizing your full potential. Even if it eclipses your current state, it simply means there's more room for growth and evolution. Embrace it.
Every new day presents an opportunity to be a better father, a more dedicated professional, a more attentive son, brother, and friend, and overall, a kinder human being.
Alison: That's a powerful and uplifting message, Elijah. Truly resonant.
To wrap up, considering “The Monk and The Lover” is a piece of your broader 2020 collection, how does it weave into the larger tapestry of that compilation? And, looking forward, what can eager readers anticipate from the creative world of Elijah A. Bland?
Elijah: Now that we've navigated through the themes of this "hurdle", the upcoming poems will delve deeper into the realms of Solitude, our inherent Nature, and the exploration of the inner Self. Additionally, I'm excited to announce the upcoming launch of our Pen, Paper, & Heart poetry writing workshop. We're in the final stages of preparation, just working on securing recording times. There's a lot on the horizon, and I'm eager to share it all! Thank you.
Embrace the depth and complexity within you! There's so much more to each of us than what meets the eye or what we've even acknowledged.